Developer growth, Startups, Valuable Resources

2018 in review

As is the tradition I want to spend a few minutes reflecting on the year 2018. I find that taking time to reflect gives me a perspective of where I am on my journey. Reflecting also helps give closure and allows me to direct my thoughts and efforts towards what I want to accomplish in the future.

2018 has been one of the most exciting years from a professional perspective. From a personal growth perspective, 2018 has been both rewarding and frustrating. How can this be, you may ask (or not)? I’m asking at least and will be exploring that in this post.

Putting things into perspective

Having some perspective on where you are in life brings context. It allows you to understand where you need to focus your efforts and what you can expect from the outcomes. Without perspective, expectations run amok, and this has been a theme of mine for the last year.

Let’s add some perspective by looking at the themes of the past few years:

Change, Challenges, and Struggle

This year brought around a significant change – a shift in careers. I transitioned from a Web Developer / Team Lead with a path towards Agile Coach / Management / Leadership type of roles at a larger company to becoming a founding employee at the startup, Dolittle (more on this some other time).

The role I took, and currently have is User Experience Lead / Web Developer, and as with any (small) company; titles mean nothing. User Experience is a new field for me to dive in to, practice and build skills in. Even though I’ve been a developer for many years, building applications in modern JavaScript has been an exciting challenge.

Days have been filled with more frontend and JavaScript work than any before, both for our products and client projects as well as all the aspects of building a great culture and the fundaments of a company that will last for years to come.


Working in any startup is hectic, and that’s also what I experienced, even though we limited ourselves to regular workdays, the sheer number of balls we needed to juggle was overwhelming at times. The transition has been exciting, invigorating and also painful. On one side I’ve wanted to explore and establish what UX is at Dolittle, and on the other, coding and working with clients to bring in some income naturally took precedence. All of the while fumbling trying to get on board with modern JavaScript Web Development. This lead to a feeling of not feeling adequate or competent in any of the work I was doing.

Another consequence of feeling like all my energy was going towards not accomplishing things were the negative thoughts and the stories I was telling myself. Luckily for me, the people I decided to work with that Dolittle are some of the best humans I’ve ever had the privilege to know, second only to my life partner, and they offered their support. But the feelings still lingered – this was something I needed to work through and deal with for myself. Which leads to my next real failure – Not taking time to reflect and process how much I was learning.

On a related note, I realise that previous accomplishments have been holding me back from future achievements. I’ve struggled to put my self and content out there for several reasons, one of them has been constantly comparing and raising the bar based on those previous accomplishments, without applying any form of context or perspective. The word "should" has been used way too often, which leads to an internal dialogue of shame.


Things were looking a lot brighter towards the end of the year. I was more comfortable with the day-to-day challenges we had at work, as well being able to acknowledge my role and the contributions I was making. The brighter outlook gave me some space to reflect on my learnings. I was also able to identify a weakness I had (with help from colleagues), namely that I self-censor myself a lot. This weakness manifested itself in not speaking up in meetings, not sharing my thoughts on what I felt was important through other communication channels, and also it put a solid block over any attempt I made to write anything in public. Holding back thoughts isn’t to be confused with reflecting and pondering over a topic before forming an opinion (which I also do), but when it was evident that I had something to ask or say – I didn’t.

I was afraid. Afraid to not have the right answer, to appear foolish and found it easier to keep thoughts within. Identifying this specific behaviour has been a critical discovery. Being afraid of allowing myself to be imperfect is a root behaviour for quite a lot of the issue I’ve been facing, and is something I’ll be working on in the coming year.

As I mentioned earlier, being in a startup means wearing multiple hats, and this has been the year I re-embraced modern javascript web development with AureliaJS. It’s been a painful process of wanting to deliver and ship great products but stumble on "simple" things like identifying component abstractions, understanding es6 syntax, as well as learn the framework itself. My inner voice talking down these learnings as simple things is another manifestation of the "should"-problem with unrealistic expectations.

When I now look back, I’m proud of the progress I’ve made in this area. From feeling inadequate to be able to write and structure applications, write re-usable and business components, and drive application logic with TDD in less than a year has been a huge win.

None of my learnings would have been possible without the people I’m around me. They say that you are the average of the 5 people closest to you, and I’m surrounded by 5 of the most influential people in my career, not to mention them surrounded by others they are equally influenced by. I’m humbled, honoured and so privileged to be able to work in these conditions.

On a private note

On a private note, I want to mention running. 2018 has been the year I purposefully made running a habit. I have some big hairy goals for 2019 when it comes to running, namely complete a marathon towards the end of the year, which means taking the habit and applying running plans & structure.

I’ve also cut drastically down on phone usage around the family as well. Disabled my facebook account, removed twitter from my phone, and optimised more time to be present with them. It’s come in handy as our 3rd child has made the transition from innocent toddler to chaos monster (3 yrs old).

I’ve also been able to plough through quite a few books during my commutes. For anyone interested, you can see my progress on Goodreads.

In conclusion

Summarising the ups and downs of an entire year in a post is challenging in itself, and writing this has been a lot harder than expected. I knew I wanted to write this before spending time on anything else, so it had the potential to become a blocker for me.

I also wanted this to be a personal reflection post, rather than a set of useful tips, things I’ve learned, quick wins — lists of accomplishments, contributions and side projects. There’s enough of that out there. Instead, I hope this post reminds people that life is messy. We all have our ups and downs, our cycles of growth, expansion, reflection. That doesn’t mean that you’re less than others in any way, just that you’re human and on your own journey.

At the end of the day, I’m privileged to work alongside some fantastic people, on a great mission together, building the company we’ve always wanted to work in. All the while, having a precious family life and being able to spend quality with my kids.

In retrospect, the year 2018 has been precisely what I needed to prepare for me for 2019. That’s how I choose to see it, at least, and perhaps that’s enough?

How has 2018 been for you? How are you doing with the transition to 2019? Please share your thoughts and reflections.

Cover photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

Developer growth

Tribes – a search for belonging

Finding your tribe isn’t easy. It’s a long journey of many missteps. You may be part of a tribe your entire life. You may wander to look for other tribes out there and dive back into your old tribe for safety. Other times you need to find another to call your own. Sometimes you need to start your own with your closest around you. Other times you need to just start, and hope others will follow.


But, what do I mean with a tribe? In this context I’m using it as a community where you feel a sense of belonging. Originally, tribes were defined by proximity, the land you belonged to. So changing tribes was a physical action. Moving from one area to another. Going through rituals and sacrifices to leave your original tribe and be accepted in your new one. It took a lot of friction.

In society today the sense of belonging to a certain part of land isn’t what defines our tribe any longer. We define it in other ways like: race, nationality, gender, faith, community, workplace, hobbies etc. Some are hierarchical, like your team, that resides within your department in your organization and others are virtual, like social media groups, forums, interests, programming languages.

In our digital age there is a lot less friction to switch between tribes. You can find a virtual tribe, where switching could be as simple as joining another group. You can physically move across the world and still stay in the same virtual tribe, even though you may change your physical one.

A sense of belonging

As we grow and mature, we all go through our own versions of “the hero’s journey”. Moving through life, searching for a place of belonging.

My family tribe has always been important to me, it’s the most rock-solid tribe I belong to. Our shared values define the core of my belief and value system, and in extension is the lens I see the world through.

Another tribe that gives me a sense of fulfilment is meaningful work alongside caring individuals. Working to make a change in this world for the better. It’s what’s guided me unconsciously so far, and now what I’m starting to become more aware of and act upon.

The search

It’s become easier than ever to find and change tribes. It’s also easier than ever to get distracted in your search. The best we can do is follow our heart, and not settle. As we grow, so do our needs and finding a tribe that allows you to grow to your full potential is something I think is worth searching for.

As I’ve become more aware of my journey and what is important to me, I’ve also been more aware of what I want from my tribe. I’m sure this will evolve and change as I grow, and I’m sure that no tribe will be a perfect match. I do know that when I see something that is closer to my own values I need to make the move. How else will I know if it’s what I need?

“If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.” ― Steve Jobs

So, if you’ve found your tribe – cherish it, nourish it and consider yourself lucky. If not, work through the friction and don’t settle.

Developer growth, Practice Empathy

Rituals of Shaming in the Software Industry

The career of being a software developer can be a bumpy one. From the very start you are challenged by technical challenges you have no idea how to solve. Some grasp the concepts and principles easily, while others struggle. It’s an uphill climb of continuous learning. Constant failure, and success just a semi-colon away.

One of the biggest challenges during this process isn’t technical, but rather social. Around each turn you uncover new wonders, and new challenges. When you start a new job or position, publish a blog post, submit a pull request or even make a product. There will be people lined up to tell you how wrong you are and as a result; how you’re not good enough. I’m here to tell you, that you are!

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Communication, Developer growth

Quit blaming others. It’s your fault!

When working in a team trying to deliver software things don’t always go right. Quite often they actually go wrong. Sometimes though they go so wrong that there are consequences for others. And when things go wrong, someone is to blame.

It’s natural to protect yourself and make sure all attention is on the next person by blaming and pointing. Perhaps you just sit idly and let others deal out blame and this helps you get by on a day-to-day basis. If you and the people around you are dealing out blame, you aren’t only making it bad for those around you, but for yourself.

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Developer growth

Chatting with Scott Nimrod about Software Development and Social Intelligence

Scott Nimrod invited me to a chat, which I gladly accepted. We speak about experiences and social intelligence in Software Development. I hope you find value in the converation. It’s available on youtube here: Talking to Pavneet about Software Development and Social Intelligence.

I first came across Scott in his interview on the Developer on Fire podcast. This happened to be one of the first podcasts I left a comment on. We are now twitter friends, and supporters of each others’ work. Scott has a focus on Software Craftsmanship and a wonderful drive to achieve great things. Check out his blog and multiple interviews (after you hear our chat of course ?).

Scott’s Resources:

I would love to hear your thoughts on our conversation and any value you may have recieved. Reach out to me directly with you thoughts, questions or criticisms. Or leave a comment below.

Communication, Developer growth

Use Emoji to improve communication in your distributed team??

You’re sitting there, writing code for another feature request and a message pops in. You know it’s important, since it’s a direct message. You glance at the notification and see the words:

Dev: “You broke the build…”

You click the notification and get taken to the 1-on-1 chat, where you read:

Dev: “You broke the build, you fix?

Short and to the point. An efficient message. Perhaps not the most effective though, since you’re sitting there and scratching your head. You’re feeling annoyed. Not because you broke the build, nor that this person let you know about it. It’s because you can’t seem to get hold of the feeling of the person behind the message.

Are they irritated? Maybe mad? Possible stressed out? None of the above? The uncertainty of this can easily put you in a negative state of mind, and that won’t help with collaboration. Continue Reading

Developer growth, Practice Empathy

Leading teams with Empathy -Providing Psychological Safety

As a technical team lead, you are in a unique position to facilitate the growth of your team or watch it spin out of control. You can run it with an iron fist or meekly get overrun by strong forces. You can encourage psychological safety or allow watch things fall apart in a toxic environment.

What makes or breaks a team? How can you bring out the best in the people around you? What can you do as a technical team lead to ensure the success of your team, and as an extension your product? Continue Reading